“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” – Brian Chalker
I have been blessed with a special group of 20 moms that I consider lifetime friends. And I’ve only met a few of them in real life.
In July 2005, two months after my husband and I moved to a new city, I learned I was pregnant with our first child. We had no family nearby or local friends. I was completely lost.
I came across a website that answered many of my pregnancy-related questions. The site also had a social network based on expected birth month. I joined the “April 2006” birth club.
I never would have imagined that nearly 20 years later I would be celebrating 18th birthdays and anticipating high school graduations with this incredible group of women.
Our private group ranges in age, occupation, parenting style, religion, etc. We are scattered throughout the country, from Florida to Alaska and everywhere in between.
In a time when the dangers of social media are rightfully being called out, our group is one that highlights how social media can go right. How healthy online friendships can become lifelines for moms.
To honor the milestone that we’ve reached, I asked my fellow moms in the group if they’d be willing to share their reflections about our online friendship. Some answered questions. Many shared photos of meet ups we’ve had throughout the years, some of which are included in this blog.
Thank you for what feels like a lifetime of friendship, April 2006 mamas! I am incredibly grateful for our special community.
What prompted you to join the online birth club?
NS: I was looking for other new moms to talk to, learn from and share with.
LV: I was nervous and had a lot of questions and didn’t know if what I was thinking and feeling was normal or not.
EW: As a first-time mom, there was a lot I didn’t know. I was looking for a community that I could go through all of those “firsts” with.
What were your expectations when you joined the online group?
EW: I had zero expectations and had no idea what I was getting myself into. I could have never imagined what an amazing group of friends I’d end up with 18 years later!
What kept you in the group during pregnancy and the early parenting years?
JKP: Hearing other’s experiences made me feel normal and connected.
TP: Everything was so relatable. It wasn’t always about babies but how our careers and marriages changed as we adjusted to life as first-time moms.
NS: The shared stories, experiences and advice kept me in this group.
LV: We bonded over our pregnancies, feelings, partners, birth plans and birth stories. We shared pictures, had meetups and exchanged Christmas cards. We celebrated special moments, cried through losses, medical diagnoses and breakups. We truly became friends, sometimes sharing things we didn’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else.
EW: It was nice to go through it with a group of new moms going through the same thing. I was able to ask even the weirdest of questions, some of which I’d be embarrassed to ask anyone else!
Why do you remain in the group?
JPK: Every life stage is lived together. They are a big part of my life.
TP: It’s the most supportive group of women I know. I share my worst and best days with them, and they’d do anything to help me if I needed them.
NS: Now, I can’t imagine not being in the group. There is a sense of belonging, almost like belonging to a secret society amongst moms.
LV: I truly consider these women my closest friends. If any one of them asked me right now for help, I would help them, and I believe they would do the same for me.
EW: I originally came for the baby questions and uncertainty surrounding pregnancy and stayed for the friendship and support.
How has our online friendship helped you as a mom?
JPK: We’re all going through the same milestones and hurdles together. They are my sounding board and my cheerleaders. We’ve literally grown up together and grown as moms. Someday, also grandmas! (Not too soon!!!)
TP: All of our children are different, and I have never once felt in competition with any of these women, but I feel we have been able to troubleshoot and support and celebrate.
NS: Since this is a private group, we have all felt comfortable sharing good and bad news, seeking advice and laughing and crying together. All mothers need a safe space, and this has served as a safe space for me.
EW: In my life, many friends have come and gone through the years. They have stayed by my side through all of life’s ups and downs.
What advice would you give to pregnant first-time mamas looking for a community?
JPK: There are so many ways to connect to other first-time moms. Find one that works for you. Online, in person, whatever it is. Having a village is so necessary for your mental health as a new mom.
TP: Do it! Take the chance but be cautious of risk at first. We had fake members at first, and we lost a few members after the first year or two after giving birth.
EW: Don’t be afraid! Obviously don’t start by giving a bunch of strangers all of your personal information but do be open and honest with them and give it a try. You never know the friendships and support structure you can gain by doing so.
Where have you found community as a parent?
