November has arrived bringing reminders that another year will soon be coming to an end. For many of us, this is the time of year when we begin to reflect on the months that have passed. It is also a time of year that many of us tend to reflect on our family gratitude practices. The Thanksgiving holiday tends to do that, doesn’t it?
Your family may be thinking back to the joyful moments you have experienced together. For our family, it’s that moment when we stood together on the basketball court on varsity senior night. When we came together to decorate the venue for our daughter’s Sweet 16th birthday party with help from friends. And when we gave a standing ovation to our nervous youngest kid who had overcome fear and nailed her first supporting role in the middle school musical.
Your family may also be thinking back to the moments that were challenging. The moments that were overwhelming, chaotic and heartbreaking. The ones that you didn’t post on social media and that only those within your inner circle know about and were there to hold space and see you through. For our family, some of those moments include the death of a parent/grandparent, an injury that now postpones a hoped-for opportunity and changes within a beloved community.
Expressing gratitude for the moments and circumstances that bring a smile to our faces is pretty easy. However, feeling, let alone expressing, gratitude is much harder when life has brought sadness, disappointment and tears.
Teaching and reminding our kids (and ourselves, as adults) to express gratitude takes intentional effort and constant practice. It is well worth it though. Neuroscience research shows that expressing gratitude, even in the hard times, is beneficial to mental and emotional health. This Thanksgiving season (and perhaps all year long) find what works.
Here are a few family gratitude practice suggestions.
- Write it down: whether it’s a chalkboard, whiteboard or even a family text thread, each family member can write something that they are grateful for when it comes to mind. The visual can serve as a reminder to be grateful in moments that are tough and to celebrate the good in life.
- Say it: expressing gratitude towards one another and others can be so incredibly encouraging and uplifting. Thank your kids for helping a sibling with their homework or completing a chore without prompting. Encourage kids to thank those who help them on a daily basis — their teachers, coaches, etc.
- Share it: as a family, you can find opportunities to show your gratitude by serving those around you who may be in challenging circumstances. It’s nearly impossible to serve others, especially those who are in need, and not feel a sense of gratitude for your own circumstances.
Whether your year has been filled with more joy than hardship or if the opposite is true, taking some time to stop and reflect with a heart of gratitude can be a useful exercise. Doing this together as a family reminds us that we have shared a lot of good and bad experiences together. It helps us to recognize that even in the challenges that we faced individually or collectively, we can be grateful that we didn’t face them alone.
Looking for more family gratitude practice ideas? We have games and activities that will encourage for the whole family.
Christina Mushi-Brunt is a former professor turned freelance writer and public health research consultant. Christina, her husband and their three kids reside in Moore, where she is active in the education community.
