I believe that communicating our family’s values to our children is one of our most important tasks as parents. Because of this, I devoted a chapter on values in my upcoming book Help Your Daughter Live a Powerful Life. If we believe in hard work, truth, honesty and realness, it’s up to us to make sure our children understand why we feel the way we do. As they grow and mature, they will step away from some of our values, but will also hang on to others.

Recently I flew to Virginia for a business meeting. My trek from Oklahoma City to Charlottesville took two flights. While on the first leg of my trip and listening to the safety instructions, I started thinking about the lap child seated in front of me. I pulled out the instruction sheet to see what they were telling parents of little ones to do in case of trouble. The picture demonstrating the recommended technique showed a mother holding on tight while hunched over her baby.

I wondered how many parents in an emergency situation would attempt to strap their child down? And how safe would either option would be for parent and child?

As a child, I started attending summer camps by the time I was eight. Most summers, I attended at least two camps or sessions. It didn’t matter to me whether I brought a friend or not, I had fun at camp. For my daughter, Addy, it was different. She had no desire to go. I decided to take a relaxed approach: “When she is ready, she’ll ask.” Last year, at the age of 12, Addy decided that she was ready. So we began searching for the ideal place for her.

In late 2009, Addy and I took a fencing class together. It was a four-week
introductory course. Besides being fun, the instructors taught their students lessons in courtesy, such as how to greet others. This was my kind of place!

As an example, their brochure read: “Please say hi to one of the coaches when you arrive and let us know when you’re leaving by saying goodbye. In classes, introduce yourself to students you don’t know. And be sure to salute your class partner and salute and shake hands after every bout.”

I wondered if courteous recognition was so lax among students the instructors felt compelled to spell it out for them?

Recently, I taught Emotional Intelligence (EQ) skills to students at an Oklahoma Technology Center. Many of the students who had EQ lessons reported improvements in their abilities to express themselves and get their needs met while becoming more aware of needs and concerns of others.

A couple of weekends ago, my daughter Addy and I watched a marathon of CMT and MTV’s “The World’s Strictest Parents.” The show is yet another way of “showing-by-example” unacceptable behaviors of teenagers. Each episode documents two uncontrollable teens brought in to abide by the rules of strict host families.

Christmas is upon us, and my magic Christmas ball tells me there are many good little boys and girls who will be receiving the latest techno gadgets. What I am not seeing in that ball is an elf assigned to supervise the use of these new toys. Oh, my.

Supervising can be such a tricky game, especially if little Johnny knows more about the new gadget than you! But never fear because there are many ways to monitor and protect your children while giving them the perfect gift and providing the freedom to explore and learn.

“Margo was in tears.” My friend and I were talking by the pool last summer. “Her son is going to college this fall. She’s so worried about him. ‘What will he do?’ she said. ‘How will he survive? I have to tell him when it’s time to eat.’”

Margo is a helicopter mom—a mom who hovers over her children from beginning to end.

Recently, my daughter Addy had a mild bout with the flu. Over a long weekend, we cuddled on the couch and watched movies. One in particular, The Ultimate Gift, caught my attention, and not because it boasted big name actors from my youth like James Garner, Lee Meriweather and Brian Dennehy.

Columnist Allyn Evans explains how this movie helped illustrate the importance of finishing a job to her daughter.